Friday, 24 August 2012

DOMS: From Squats

DOMS = Delayed Onset of Muscle Soreness
This is technically wrong as it should be spelt
WTFAMLSSOFS = Why The Feck Are My legs still so fecking sore!

After a heavy leg session, DOMS are the bitches that come round to your house when you are asleep and constantly punch you in the legs so that when you wake up the next day and even the day after that, you can barely walk down stairs, sit on a toilet or get out of a car without making whimpering sounds.

However you can look at it in 2 ways.

1) Fear them, they hurt, make you weak, and make you look like a cripple for at least 48hours after your first sleep after a big workout.


2) Rejoice!  You have achieved awesomeness.  Only other awesome people will understand your pain and be both impressed and may even compliment you on your diligent effort!

You see, DOMS are what you get when you really really shock your muscle.  They are most common in people who have taken a while off, or been bedridden for a while or even just not done a perticular exercise for ages.
A great example is the once a year snowboarder:  Once every year he goes out to France, puts on his board, rips up the slopes the first day, feels great, then the next day he cant walk, or move for that matter.
Snowboarding requires squatting, isometric and isotonic contractions it also is like a Vibration plate workout but for several hours. Consequently, I am yet to meet a skiier or snowboarder with skinny legs.
Anywhey the point is,  after not doing snowboarding for the last 12 months then suddenly doing a monster monster leg sesh of several hours. The cool snowboarder is transformed into a whimpering cripple.
One way around this is to drink vast amounts of alcohol, as is done in most European ski resorts or 2 do a day session a week or so beforehand, suffer your DOMS during the week then go for your week session and feel no pain at all!

Getting DOMS shows that the intensity level that you put into your last workout was well above what you have done in the past. It shows that the effort you put in was badass and as long as you didnt injure yourself, you will reap lots of rewards.  Give yourself anything from 4-7days until you try that exercise/intensity again If you want to do anything do a very light session afterwards but dont try heavy as you will be weaker for a number of days after.

Seemingly DOMS are more prone to attack you if you really work your Eccentric contractions (making your muscle longer) so that would be the downward direction of the squat.

May be interesting if it is possible to recieve no DOMS abuse by using a leg press machine and just lowering yourself to the most eccentric position each time.... IF YOUR A PUSSY!

Additionally DOMS are brought on by a big change in exercise intensity. Ie from never doing an exercise to doing a big session.

So tip 2 if you want to be a pussy, slowly increase your intensity of your workouts each time you do the exercise, i.e. the first time just do a single set, the second time do a couple of sets, and so forth.

Stretching has no effect on either preventing it or reducing the pain.... Alcohol on the other hand....

I Saw it recommended to use a foam roller to prevent DOMS. This may be a good idea, I also suspect that this is a good idea to do just after exercise as trying to do some Foam rolling exercise whence DOMS are fully attacking ... is just throwing more pain right at cha! Then it wont be whimpering it will be full on tears and screaming.

RICE (rest, ice compress and elevate) works for sprained wrists, but how the feck am i ment to elevate, ice and compress my thighs while i am at work or driving?  not happening!

DRUGS: over the counter drugs are pretty much just pish rolled up in sugar, it will not have any effect on your legs

MAN UP:  Granted it is hard to man up when you cant even walk properly, and don't even think that breaking into a jog will look anything like the elegent display of fitness you have done in the past, you will get 3 steps in stumble and crumble to the ground.

Surprisingly one of the treatments for it is.... do the exercise again!  This causes you more pain... for the first couple of reps, then your body pumps out natural painkillers and.... makes you awesome.
Its kinda like telling your body, Oi! Stop being sore, i need these muscles just now, so can you bugger off with this pain and let me get on with training!

Caveman Reasoning
Caveman sees tiger, fights it for ages, kills it. Wins. Cave man now tired, Cave man sleeps by dead tiger before cutting it up to eat it. Cave man wakes up, Cave man in muscular pain, cave man sees other tiger about to attack... cave man difficult to move cos legs are sore, tiger jumps at cave man. cave man goes ape shit, kicks tiger to death, forgets pain in legs. Caveman walks home dragging 2 tigers, feels like a champ, receives lots of cavelady attention!

1 comment:

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